16/06/2006
We know where you live...
Okay, so maybe the bullocks in the field aren't quite this big or fierce... but when you have a phobia even an ant looks like Tyrannasaurus Rex, am I right?
Mr Hunky-Chunky Farmer (okay, bald and not so hunky chunky, but these things are irrelevant to the romantic novelist)has decided it is time to allow the hooved beasts into the field at the back of my house... Now please bear in mind that there is a whole line of houses backing on to that field- so explain to me, if you will, why the whole herd charged up the hill in what I can only describe as a menacing fashion... and then started eating my daisies.
What's wrong with everyone else's daisies, may I ask!
And how do they know where I live? (asked as I twitch my sheer voils [net curtains? heaven forfend!]and gaze at, what seems to me to be an every-increasing herd in horror.)
The Birds? Albert Hitchcock, eat your heart out... I give you...
The Cows.
Love to all, and happy reading everyone!
Susan
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I once lived on a farm that was so in the middle of nowhere that there was just one daily bus to town. This particular day, I had to go to town as I'd run out of staples (no, not the little metal things but stuff like milk, bread, etc) and as my car had recently died, I had no choice but to take the bus. I got my daughter ready, put her in her buggy and went outside, assuming I had plenty of time to get up to the road. But no. Stood at the bottom of the steps that led down from the house was a humungous great bullock, complete with horns! And he didn't look happy.
There was no way I was pushing past him so I went back inside and watched him from behind the kitchen window (no nets there, either), hoping he'd wander off. Fat chance!
Needless to say, I missed the bus and had to manage without milk (but luckily had the ingredients needed to bake some bread).
When the farmer came home (this one wasn't a hunk, either), he just laughed and said I should have given him a shove. Yeah...right. I don't think so!
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There was no way I was pushing past him so I went back inside and watched him from behind the kitchen window (no nets there, either), hoping he'd wander off. Fat chance!
Needless to say, I missed the bus and had to manage without milk (but luckily had the ingredients needed to bake some bread).
When the farmer came home (this one wasn't a hunk, either), he just laughed and said I should have given him a shove. Yeah...right. I don't think so!
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